For the last few weeks I have experienced an undercurrent of sadness and concern stemming from the illnesses of people in my life. You see, over these weeks two people close to me have experienced very serious medical conditions, with the gravest of consequences. What struck me was how these two individuals came to be in their respective conditions, and how their reactions have been so very different. I keep searching my own thoughts for some meaning to all this, yet end up in much the same place where I began.
It's important that you know something about the folks I'm referring to. This is dicey for me because I don't want to wander over any line of decency or privacy that should rightly exist. In times of crisis, particularly medical crisis, there should be some boundaries that aren't crossed. Both have graciously allowed me the privilege to share these events. As I tell this story I hope I haven't violated any boundaries, and that I write about them with all the respect they deserve. The two people involved are very different people, with very different conditions, and they occupy very different stages in life. It is these differences that got me thinking about this essay.
The first woman I'll describe is our daughter's mother-in-law. Her name is Lynn. Lynn is approaching her mid-sixties and has suffered from chronic poor health for many years. She's divorced and has two grown sons, both in there thirties. My son-in-law is her younger son. From the time we've known Lynn she has struggled with health issues leading to this point. She has has weight problems, and personal habits that have contributed to a series of orthopedic surgeries to replace hips, and the need to use oxygen continuously. She recently moved to an assisted living apartment because she couldn't manage on her own any longer. I think you understand the situation and there is no further need for details. But what's important to know is that she is now approaching the end of her life. She finally succumbed to the inevitable, and has been hospitalized for nearly two weeks. None of this was a surprise- yet the reality of her situation has proven to be a painful and difficult event for our son-in-law, and therefore our family. Thankfully, he is coping well with these realities now in spite of the daily ups and downs of Lynn's condition. He has the support of his family and many others.
The situation with Lynn takes me back to my late twenties. Both of my parents died within six months of each other, both from chronic illnesses. So the certainty of a parent's death in coming weeks or months is a feeling not lost on me. Who knows if I handled it as well as would be expected by the experts in these matters. I'm not sure if there is text-book response. But, I think I did OK with these losses, and the loss of several other very close relatives who passed away in short succession. In the nearly thirty years since then, I hope I have developed a perspective that can be helpful to my family as we keep watch over Lynn's final days.
The other woman is Molly. I've known Molly since she was twelve years old. I helped coach her youth softball team when she played along side my kids. She didn't go to the same high school as my girls, so I lost track of her until about eleven years ago. One day I went into a Super Cuts and there she was, cutting hair. Since then we've struck up a great friendship that I value so much. She cuts my hair. We talk. I know her parents. I did the photography for her engagement, her wedding, and the first baby pictures when she brought Sophia home. I have always found her to be open, honest and engaging as a friend. I really enjoy having friends outside my own generation, both younger and older. It adds more richness to life. Molly has certainly added more richness to my life. She's one of the most unique people I know, so every month when I show up for a haircut- it's a talk fest that makes me glad I know her. About three weeks ago she texted me to say she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I confess, I was a stunned. Molly is 34. Sophia is 6. Molly's mom is just getting past a couple of years recovering from her own bout with breast cancer. Molly's husband is doing all he can for her.
Molly and I have talked a couple of times since she found out she has cancer. I won't recount the events she's shared with me as she endures the tests, the MRI's, genetic testing, the endless consultations, and the choices she and her husband must face. But her cancer will require radical treatment, surgery and a long period of chemo- with all that that implies. Molly's illness is eliciting many of the same responses from friends and family that Lynn's illness is. People express their sympathy. People say that they are praying. People send heartfelt wishes and their shared thoughts and worries. The difference is that these thoughts, prayers, and wishes are comforting to Lynn and her family; but serve only to sometimes frustrate and annoy Molly. Molly has decided to use her emotions (which includes anger), and her resolve, to fight her illness, whereas Lynn cannot. There is no question in Molly's mind that she will survive, but in Lynn's case there is no question that her end will come soon.
I don't approach Molly with traditional expressions of sympathy or Hallmark Card emotions. She doesn't want them. We agreed I would just be the friend she could have normal conversations with. Too many people now want to treat her differently because she has the big C. And if you show up around her with a pink ribbon, you're going to catch hell. She doesn't need any more cancer awareness, thank you. Don't talk to her of prayers. She has faith- but she's finding no comfort in it now. She'll work that out on her own without the normal religious cliche's. She's taking the fight to cancer-and I know she'll win because she is, and always has been, tougher than I can describe. She's been a type 1 diabetic since the softball days of her childhood and she knows how to beat the odds. She even had a baby when they told her she couldn't. She is stubborn in her approach to this thing- but I admire her single minded will to fight, to survive, and come out the other end as she wants to be. And, she will.
When people in our life have serious issues, they tend to become our issues on some level, if we care about them. Over the last weeks the two situations I've described have been so poignant for me because they have some similarities, and such glaring differences at the same time. I am not one to search for deep spiritual or religious meaning in these situations. And, as I said in opening this essay, I keep coming back to the same place. It is a place of peace in my own mind; and one I try to share with those closest to their problems. I derive that peace from my belief there is no grand plan, or no grand planner, that makes us sick or heals us. There is certainly no observable record of any such plan. I don't believe that everything "happens for a reason" -and that reason is somehow beyond our ability to understand it. The randomness of how our lives come into being and how they end doesn't suggest any plan at all. I believe we are just a part of the natural world around us. As part of nature, our bodies will eventually fail and fall to the fate of all living things. Some earlier, some later than others. I can't believe there is a grand rationale as to why some will live for 90 years, while some will die as infants- other than it is just our nature as inhabitants on this earth. To me that's actually a comforting notion. So, with this in mind I make my best effort to accept what must be accepted- and to be supportive where support and friendship is needed. These two illnesses have reinforced for me there is no one way to react- no correct answer; except to give of ourselves in a way other people need us to, without judgment or reservation. Lynn and Molly's futures will not be the same, but I will do my best to be there for them in whatever way they need me to be there for them.
Thanks for looking in.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
It's OK To Be Angry!
In the world of day-time talk shows, and self indulgent magazine articles that seek to make us all much better people, the word "anger" is a dirty word. The emotion itself is one to be spurned and rejected. We have been told over a generation or more that anger and resentment are poisonous ingredients of twisted people. We have been conditioned to give ourselves pause when we feel this hideous side rise up within us. We are told to let the feeling pass or we can become consumed by dark impulses. Whole industries have sprung up to help us cope with or manage anger.
On most levels of personal interaction I too believe that sustained anger seldom leads to great outcomes. The problem with anger is that it can (but not always) erode our ability to think straight. It can come in the form of pure emotion that robs us of our rational side. It can even have a violent outcome- most often the violence of anger is played out against those closest to us. Unchecked anger is dangerous-scary- and harmful. However, I would argue that there is a place for anger. Anger in, and of, itself can also be a useful thing. The trick is let anger be one of the emotions that drive and motivate us to action. Malcolm X said, "Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change".
Throughout history the use of anger on a cultural scale has been the catalyst of change. Forgive my ignorance of far eastern history, but I can cite great change movements in western history that were surely the result of anger. Anger over injustice is typically at the root of change. Throughout history, those who have too much find themselves eventually brought down by the the masses who harness anger over injustice and force change. Rome was destroyed by the people of the provinces who tired of paying tribute to the ruling class and the emperors. Rebellion and loss of control finally ate away at the Roman empire till it was no longer there. The great monarchies of Europe fell to revolution in the 16th and 17th centuries when the poor rose up against them and the caste system. The best example was the French Revolution. The once powerful monarchy of Russia fell to the Communists in the 20th century-who in turn fell, when the USSR went broke in Afghanistan and couldn't feed her people. It wasn't Ronald Reagan's finger wagging that brought down the Soviets- it was economic injustice and the will of the people-as it was in Poland and Romania.
It was anger from those who were the have-nots that created change. You might argue that these examples only depict violent change. But there are many examples of anger fueling non-violent change as well. Gandhi never argued for passive resistance. He was passionate in his insistence for Indian Independence from Great Briton. He used anger, and incited anger in his enemies to move his country towards freedom. He just insisted it be non-violent. History tells us Martin Luther King Jr. felt anger over the lack of civil rights for African Americans in his lifetime. He followed the example of Gandhi- but his hatred of injustice and racism was evident. King himself said, "the supreme task is organize and unite people so that their anger becomes a transforming force".
Today we are finally seeing the result of anger move our people towards much needed change. Until the "Occupy Wall St." movement began I feared that all those talk shows and magazines had washed away our basic, and necessary, anger to act on the injustices of the last thirty years. This movement doesn't surprise me. Honestly, what surprises me is that more of us aren't angry. If we can't be angry about injustice, then we have become sheep to be led into exploitation and hopelessness. Let's think about the reasons to angry today.
Our country began a major cultural change when Reagan broke the Air Traffic Controllers union. It was the first act of an undeniable slide downward for the middle class. News story after news story has documented how the middle class in this country has fallen behind in real income since then. This is not political rhetoric. It is fact. Because of this, the gap between the rich (the 1%) and the rest of us ( the 99%) is the highest ever. Also a fact. During the last ten years the banks and other financial institutions created phony financial instruments, passed them off as valuable securities, then bet against them knowing they were a fraud. When the fraud was finally uncovered and those fancy products were deemed worthless, tens of ($)trillions of wealth were lost. It all happened because of the greed and criminal behavior of bankers. Millions of homeowners lost their homes- lives were damaged-pensions were gone-the economy tanked and the middle class had to pay to bail them out.
These, among other things make me angry. They anger me because they threaten the future for my children and grandchildren. My anger doesn't belong to just one political party. I'm angry that my President's Justice Department hasn't gone after even one of those criminals who did this to us. Instead of giving themselves big bonuses, they should be on the perp walk to hell for the lives they've ruined. I'm angry that Mr. Obama wasn't strong enough in the beginning, when it came to protecting the middle class. I'm angry that the Republicans in Congress will not provide even one piece of legislation to get us moving again. I'm angry they keep putting out a pack of lies about tax breaks for "job creators" and trying to destroy the programs that made us safe in our old age so the corporations can profit more. There isn't a single example in modern western history to support their economic ideas during times like these- but they just won't tell the truth about these things. And, that's because the only truth they did tell was their intent to defeat and ruin this President- even if it ruins us all in the process. I'm angry with the Supreme Court for the Citizens United case. This is perhaps the single biggest blow to democracy ever inflicted on us. In a 5-4 decision (with conservative- Republican appointees leading the majority-particularly the two G.W. Bush appointees) the Court allowed unlimited funds to be given to political candidates from corporations. It made corporations people, and permitted money to trump democracy. We should all be angry about this one. And there, I covered all three branches of Federal Government.
So, I invite you to be angry with me. Be angry along with the hundreds of thousands here and in other countries around the world who are now standing up to corporate greed, and the politicians who are bought and paid for by their corporate masters. The "Occupy" movement is about people saying "we've had enough!" They are demanding economic and social justice. The critics of the movement will complain that the people haven't said what they want. The critics need to open their eyes and see that this is about about reversing the very obvious trend towards too few 'have's" and too many "have-nots". Anger should not blind us- but instead open our eyes to these injustices. Our anger should not allow us to accept the 30 second political commercial as truth- but cause us to dig deeper for truth-to seek knowledge beyond the spin of political tricksters. I urge you to follow Dr. King's "supreme task" and let your anger be a "transforming force". Express your anger in knowledge, and use your anger to move you towards action- if not in the streets, then without fail in the voting booth.
Thanks for looking in.
On most levels of personal interaction I too believe that sustained anger seldom leads to great outcomes. The problem with anger is that it can (but not always) erode our ability to think straight. It can come in the form of pure emotion that robs us of our rational side. It can even have a violent outcome- most often the violence of anger is played out against those closest to us. Unchecked anger is dangerous-scary- and harmful. However, I would argue that there is a place for anger. Anger in, and of, itself can also be a useful thing. The trick is let anger be one of the emotions that drive and motivate us to action. Malcolm X said, "Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change".
Throughout history the use of anger on a cultural scale has been the catalyst of change. Forgive my ignorance of far eastern history, but I can cite great change movements in western history that were surely the result of anger. Anger over injustice is typically at the root of change. Throughout history, those who have too much find themselves eventually brought down by the the masses who harness anger over injustice and force change. Rome was destroyed by the people of the provinces who tired of paying tribute to the ruling class and the emperors. Rebellion and loss of control finally ate away at the Roman empire till it was no longer there. The great monarchies of Europe fell to revolution in the 16th and 17th centuries when the poor rose up against them and the caste system. The best example was the French Revolution. The once powerful monarchy of Russia fell to the Communists in the 20th century-who in turn fell, when the USSR went broke in Afghanistan and couldn't feed her people. It wasn't Ronald Reagan's finger wagging that brought down the Soviets- it was economic injustice and the will of the people-as it was in Poland and Romania.
It was anger from those who were the have-nots that created change. You might argue that these examples only depict violent change. But there are many examples of anger fueling non-violent change as well. Gandhi never argued for passive resistance. He was passionate in his insistence for Indian Independence from Great Briton. He used anger, and incited anger in his enemies to move his country towards freedom. He just insisted it be non-violent. History tells us Martin Luther King Jr. felt anger over the lack of civil rights for African Americans in his lifetime. He followed the example of Gandhi- but his hatred of injustice and racism was evident. King himself said, "the supreme task is organize and unite people so that their anger becomes a transforming force".
Today we are finally seeing the result of anger move our people towards much needed change. Until the "Occupy Wall St." movement began I feared that all those talk shows and magazines had washed away our basic, and necessary, anger to act on the injustices of the last thirty years. This movement doesn't surprise me. Honestly, what surprises me is that more of us aren't angry. If we can't be angry about injustice, then we have become sheep to be led into exploitation and hopelessness. Let's think about the reasons to angry today.
Our country began a major cultural change when Reagan broke the Air Traffic Controllers union. It was the first act of an undeniable slide downward for the middle class. News story after news story has documented how the middle class in this country has fallen behind in real income since then. This is not political rhetoric. It is fact. Because of this, the gap between the rich (the 1%) and the rest of us ( the 99%) is the highest ever. Also a fact. During the last ten years the banks and other financial institutions created phony financial instruments, passed them off as valuable securities, then bet against them knowing they were a fraud. When the fraud was finally uncovered and those fancy products were deemed worthless, tens of ($)trillions of wealth were lost. It all happened because of the greed and criminal behavior of bankers. Millions of homeowners lost their homes- lives were damaged-pensions were gone-the economy tanked and the middle class had to pay to bail them out.
These, among other things make me angry. They anger me because they threaten the future for my children and grandchildren. My anger doesn't belong to just one political party. I'm angry that my President's Justice Department hasn't gone after even one of those criminals who did this to us. Instead of giving themselves big bonuses, they should be on the perp walk to hell for the lives they've ruined. I'm angry that Mr. Obama wasn't strong enough in the beginning, when it came to protecting the middle class. I'm angry that the Republicans in Congress will not provide even one piece of legislation to get us moving again. I'm angry they keep putting out a pack of lies about tax breaks for "job creators" and trying to destroy the programs that made us safe in our old age so the corporations can profit more. There isn't a single example in modern western history to support their economic ideas during times like these- but they just won't tell the truth about these things. And, that's because the only truth they did tell was their intent to defeat and ruin this President- even if it ruins us all in the process. I'm angry with the Supreme Court for the Citizens United case. This is perhaps the single biggest blow to democracy ever inflicted on us. In a 5-4 decision (with conservative- Republican appointees leading the majority-particularly the two G.W. Bush appointees) the Court allowed unlimited funds to be given to political candidates from corporations. It made corporations people, and permitted money to trump democracy. We should all be angry about this one. And there, I covered all three branches of Federal Government.
So, I invite you to be angry with me. Be angry along with the hundreds of thousands here and in other countries around the world who are now standing up to corporate greed, and the politicians who are bought and paid for by their corporate masters. The "Occupy" movement is about people saying "we've had enough!" They are demanding economic and social justice. The critics of the movement will complain that the people haven't said what they want. The critics need to open their eyes and see that this is about about reversing the very obvious trend towards too few 'have's" and too many "have-nots". Anger should not blind us- but instead open our eyes to these injustices. Our anger should not allow us to accept the 30 second political commercial as truth- but cause us to dig deeper for truth-to seek knowledge beyond the spin of political tricksters. I urge you to follow Dr. King's "supreme task" and let your anger be a "transforming force". Express your anger in knowledge, and use your anger to move you towards action- if not in the streets, then without fail in the voting booth.
Thanks for looking in.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Sunday Dinner: CORRECTION
In reviewing my last post I saw that a section of the post was missing. For some unknown reason the draft I was working on did publish entirely. I don't know why that happened, and the truth is that is was probably my fault- though I'm usually quick to blame the computer or the web site. At any rate, I apologize about the missing section.
In the phantom paragraph I noted that most private agencies get a great deal of their funding from government programs, grants, or projects. I discussed the idea that cutting government programs therefore has the effect of causing severe cuts to private agencies and their clientele too. I used the example of Catholic Charities building a new apartment complex to supply housing to the poor, and how the funding is all coming from state revenues. The point being that most voters simply don't realize the the vital connection between government and private organizations, and our politicians lack true intellectual honesty when they harken back to the old days when churches and other private charities cared for the poor alone, as a reason to argue for government cuts.
I thought the part of the post that went missing in the original published post was an important link in the argument, so upon noticing it was missing, I wanted to share it with you now. Thanks again for looking in.
In the phantom paragraph I noted that most private agencies get a great deal of their funding from government programs, grants, or projects. I discussed the idea that cutting government programs therefore has the effect of causing severe cuts to private agencies and their clientele too. I used the example of Catholic Charities building a new apartment complex to supply housing to the poor, and how the funding is all coming from state revenues. The point being that most voters simply don't realize the the vital connection between government and private organizations, and our politicians lack true intellectual honesty when they harken back to the old days when churches and other private charities cared for the poor alone, as a reason to argue for government cuts.
I thought the part of the post that went missing in the original published post was an important link in the argument, so upon noticing it was missing, I wanted to share it with you now. Thanks again for looking in.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Sunday Dinner
One of my favorite activities is to cook and enjoy a big Sunday dinner with my family. We've always been the kind of family that has dinner together, and now that the kids are married and have their own kids it's particularly enjoyable for us to have a big sit-down meal together. If you've read some of my earlier posts on this blog, you know that I grew up in this tradition, surrounded by extended family. Some of my fondest memories involve the Sunday dinners my grandparents would cook. There wasn't a great deal of variety with the menu. Typically we would have some sort of Italian food- what you might call comfort food. We ate pasta, meats we raised and butchered right there (beef-chicken-pork), risotto (long before the Food Network made it fashionable), stews and the like. Even though the food was great, the gathering was the important thing. This was a time to discuss our lives and the events of importance to us; three generations, grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, and kids all gathered at one table. Children, like me, could join the conversation or we could listen to the adults talk about the world, politics, the high school football game from last Friday night, the price of Walla Walla Sweet Onions, or the tone of the sermon at Sunday mass. It was always an interesting time.
Because we believe these gatherings were such an important part of learning to be an adult, we've tried to make that tradition a part of our grand children's lives too. We're lucky our family all live here and we can do this for them. Sometimes those dinners happen at our daughters' homes- but mostly at our house. It's a regular part of our lives.
Every now and then there comes a Sunday when circumstances, previous commitments, or schedules just don't permit the Sunday dinner. Last Sunday was one of those. However, we did a Sunday dinner of another kind that proved to be a valuable experience just the same. We attended the Bishop's Poor Man's Dinner at the House of Charity. This is an annual fund raising event sponsored by Catholic Charities of Spokane and the Bishop of the Spokane Catholic Diocese. My wife works for Catholic Charities as a Program Director, which gives us an outstanding view of the agency's work. I've been familiar with Catholic Charities for many years through my own work, but now I have a special opportunity to see it from an even closer vantage point. In case you didn't know, Catholic Charities is the largest social service agency in eastern Washington and literally serves many thousands of poor people every year through a variety of programs. Once again, if you've read from my past posts, you know that issues associated with poverty are very important to me.
The Poor Man's Dinner was held at the House of Charity, a facility that's a shelter for many of our community's homeless citizens. They have a large, clean, dormitory upstairs to house about 90 homeless men every night. They serve over 77,000 hot meals and the same number of continental breakfasts a year, almost all from donated foods, the staff skillfully arrange into actual meals. They also have a free medical clinic and various other services for our fellow, less fortunate citizens. They do not ask a person's religion or seek to convert anyone. They serve "according to need-not creed" as they like to say. Catholic Charities operates in accordance with the principles of basic human dignity, human respect, and a profound sense of social justice. These values form the creed of Catholic Charities and at the same time, to me, transcend religion. I say that because these core values cannot and should not be constrained to Catholicism or any religion, but should also be cherished and embedded in us as fundamental human values.
As I listened to the speakers talk about this special place I was filled with a sense of pride in being there to witness a devoted crowd support, and contribute to, this cause; and a sense of sadness in the realization of the tremendous unmet needs of so many of our people. The House of Charity cannot possibly house and feed the number who need their services. They turn away many in need. Even generous contributions cannot meet the demands. We were told the increase in meals served last year rose 17% from the previous year.
So I'm left to ponder these questions about values with you. If we revere and respect the values and work of great agencies like Catholic Charities, why do we not demand the same set of a values from those we elect to govern us? Why is it noble to care for our fellow man in church, but not in Congress? Why do seek and applaud social justice at the House of Charity- but seek and applaud budget cuts aimed at the poor and the elderly in the House of Representatives? Why do we give to the collection plate with one hand- and vote for politicians who will take away funding for the very same programs with the other hand?
As a movement is growing now on the streets of this country (Occupy Wall Street and beyond) more people are rising up to call for social justice- they call for economic justice- they call for fairness. Those are the same basic values Catholic Charities calls for. Some Republicans have called them "a mob", "unAmerican", or said to them "if you're not rich -blame yourself!". They are called "dangerous radicals". Well, I had Sunday dinner in a place where people know better. I ate a small bowl of lentil soup, a piece of bread, and small bit of apple dessert. It wasn't the Sunday dinner I usually enjoy with my family- but it was an important meal, just like the only meal hundreds of our citizens get every day at the House of Charity. It has caused me to refocus on that value we call social justice. I hope you will too.
Thanks for looking in.
Because we believe these gatherings were such an important part of learning to be an adult, we've tried to make that tradition a part of our grand children's lives too. We're lucky our family all live here and we can do this for them. Sometimes those dinners happen at our daughters' homes- but mostly at our house. It's a regular part of our lives.
Every now and then there comes a Sunday when circumstances, previous commitments, or schedules just don't permit the Sunday dinner. Last Sunday was one of those. However, we did a Sunday dinner of another kind that proved to be a valuable experience just the same. We attended the Bishop's Poor Man's Dinner at the House of Charity. This is an annual fund raising event sponsored by Catholic Charities of Spokane and the Bishop of the Spokane Catholic Diocese. My wife works for Catholic Charities as a Program Director, which gives us an outstanding view of the agency's work. I've been familiar with Catholic Charities for many years through my own work, but now I have a special opportunity to see it from an even closer vantage point. In case you didn't know, Catholic Charities is the largest social service agency in eastern Washington and literally serves many thousands of poor people every year through a variety of programs. Once again, if you've read from my past posts, you know that issues associated with poverty are very important to me.
The Poor Man's Dinner was held at the House of Charity, a facility that's a shelter for many of our community's homeless citizens. They have a large, clean, dormitory upstairs to house about 90 homeless men every night. They serve over 77,000 hot meals and the same number of continental breakfasts a year, almost all from donated foods, the staff skillfully arrange into actual meals. They also have a free medical clinic and various other services for our fellow, less fortunate citizens. They do not ask a person's religion or seek to convert anyone. They serve "according to need-not creed" as they like to say. Catholic Charities operates in accordance with the principles of basic human dignity, human respect, and a profound sense of social justice. These values form the creed of Catholic Charities and at the same time, to me, transcend religion. I say that because these core values cannot and should not be constrained to Catholicism or any religion, but should also be cherished and embedded in us as fundamental human values.
As I listened to the speakers talk about this special place I was filled with a sense of pride in being there to witness a devoted crowd support, and contribute to, this cause; and a sense of sadness in the realization of the tremendous unmet needs of so many of our people. The House of Charity cannot possibly house and feed the number who need their services. They turn away many in need. Even generous contributions cannot meet the demands. We were told the increase in meals served last year rose 17% from the previous year.
So I'm left to ponder these questions about values with you. If we revere and respect the values and work of great agencies like Catholic Charities, why do we not demand the same set of a values from those we elect to govern us? Why is it noble to care for our fellow man in church, but not in Congress? Why do seek and applaud social justice at the House of Charity- but seek and applaud budget cuts aimed at the poor and the elderly in the House of Representatives? Why do we give to the collection plate with one hand- and vote for politicians who will take away funding for the very same programs with the other hand?
As a movement is growing now on the streets of this country (Occupy Wall Street and beyond) more people are rising up to call for social justice- they call for economic justice- they call for fairness. Those are the same basic values Catholic Charities calls for. Some Republicans have called them "a mob", "unAmerican", or said to them "if you're not rich -blame yourself!". They are called "dangerous radicals". Well, I had Sunday dinner in a place where people know better. I ate a small bowl of lentil soup, a piece of bread, and small bit of apple dessert. It wasn't the Sunday dinner I usually enjoy with my family- but it was an important meal, just like the only meal hundreds of our citizens get every day at the House of Charity. It has caused me to refocus on that value we call social justice. I hope you will too.
Thanks for looking in.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Our Grandson Turned 9
Over the last weekend our grandson Micah turned nine years old. He is a great kid and I know that if you met him you'd like him. He's got a big heart and has feelings that run pretty deep for a nine year old kid. He plays all that kind of coy though, and often doesn't come right out with all that's going on in that head of his. But, I tell you this, he can crack you up or completely undo you with a certain look he has. In that way he reminds me a lot of his mother. He's a bit on the small size, but he's supremely coordinated and athletic-an outstanding soccer player. There's a great deal more I could say to describe him, but I'll get back to that later.
Zoe is Micah's sister, who will be eleven years old in a few months. She is our first grandchild and as such had about 500,000 pictures taken of her that first year of life. She, too, is a very endearing child and very special to us. She has a maturity about her that belies her young age, along with a whimsical way that's playful and cute. Like her brother, there is always more going on just below the surface. She is an avid reader and is whip smart. She's a good little athlete too, but hasn't found her niche just yet. But she's a fearless soul when it comes to trying new things, and I predict great things in her future.
Micah and Zoe have a step-brother named Jaydn who is just older than Zoe. We have really come to love this kid. There are always adjustments when families blend, but things generally work out well when there is patience and love to go around. My daughter and her husband have made sure of that. Jaydn is a vivacious boy, who like all 6th graders, is starting to get that grown up look about him. He's always trying new things and is eager to please. He has an easy manner and is constantly on the move. He's easy to talk with and he really craves adult conversation.
Our youngest daughter and her husband have another of our grandsons. Ben will be six years old in January. He is very special to us as well. He had an early and unexpected entry into the world. But he overcame that small setback and is now a very robust, energetic kindergartner. I know this is starting to sound redundant and like nothing more than grandparent pride, but he is a very smart young kid with lots of potential. Add that to a killer smile and lots of charm and you have a pretty great kid. Ben will have to start sharing his parents with yet another granddaughter due in January.
To say we are fortunate to have all these great kids in our lives is a monumental understatement. We loved being parents, but there is something so special about the grandparent role. It enables a person to have a very close relationship with a child, to teach (and learn), encourage, and support these young people in ways a parent can't. Parents have the most important job- but grandparents can be there for these kids in a way that can't be duplicated. Having them all here in town with us makes us particularly fortunate and appreciative.
Without playing favorites, let's get back to Micah. His ninth birthday this past week gave me a special reason to think about him, me, and the future for all the kids I've just introduced you to . It got me reflecting back to the year of my 9th birthday. I think this was the first year in my life where I actually began to see the world as a complicated and sometimes difficult place. Don't get me wrong- I had a fairly secure and safe upbringing. I was surrounded by an extended family who cared about me. But it was also the first year I can remember where I had thoughts about the world outside my safe upbringing.
In 1963 I completed the 3rd grade with a great teacher who really encouraged us to learn about ourselves and do things differently than the schooling I had received up till then. I was in a Catholic school, but had only been taught by the Sisters. In third grade I had a lay teacher (as they were called then). She was an older lady and I can still picture her. My guess is that she taught in a Catholic school because she probably didn't fit in to the public school mold. Nonetheless, I remember her as being quite different and I remember that year as my favorite one in the Catholic grade school.
Later in 1963, as a 4th grader, the country and I experienced the assassination of JFK. Nothing can shock your childhood world more than a national crisis that every single person in your life is reacting to with sorrow and confusion. Being only 9, I couldn't comprehend the meaning of these things but I knew a major and unprecedented event had just occurred. Then, the Sunday after JFK was killed, as my dad and I watched, Lee Harvey Oswald was murdered right in front of us on live TV. So this was the age I started seeing the world beyond my own home. I know that Micah is seeing that world too. Conversations with him leave no doubt he has reached the point of recognizing the issues and uncertainties of the world, as well as its great wonders and treasures. In lots of ways I kind of envy him the great discoveries he will make within himself and in the world he lives in. Every time I see him I can see his mind at work. What a time of growth. Jaydn and Zoe have already been there and continue to discover new ideas, great new people, and the problems the world faces.
As Micah is passing through this doorway now, I feel a special responsibility to him. I feel it for Jaydn, Zoe, Ben, and our "player to be named later" too. Perhaps, this is the reason I've taken to speaking out more in my personal life, and in this blog, about the things that concern me. It's not my future I'm concerned for- it is theirs! We are making huge decisions now that will determine what their life will be like only a few short years from now. And I don't like the tone of things. There is a selfishness, a smallness, and a pessimism that is invading our spirit these days. Too many of our people want to reverse the progress we've made and take huge steps backwards. I don't want that for my grand kids.
I'd like to see a future for them that is not threatened by global climate changes that will make clean water and food scarce, and foul the air with the residue of burned fossil fuels. I'd like to see a future for them that is not controlled by privileged few, while the masses scrape by. I'd like to see a world for them where our best values are the rule of the day- not beliefs that are born out of fear, hatred, and repression for convenience sake. I'd like to see a future for them that relies on the truth of science and reason- not superstitions rooted in ancient dogma. I've got wonderful grandchildren, as other grandparents do. I'd like to see the world they inherit be better than it is right now. Our grandson turned 9- I hope we will have made the right choices by the time he turns 18.
Thanks for looking in.
Zoe is Micah's sister, who will be eleven years old in a few months. She is our first grandchild and as such had about 500,000 pictures taken of her that first year of life. She, too, is a very endearing child and very special to us. She has a maturity about her that belies her young age, along with a whimsical way that's playful and cute. Like her brother, there is always more going on just below the surface. She is an avid reader and is whip smart. She's a good little athlete too, but hasn't found her niche just yet. But she's a fearless soul when it comes to trying new things, and I predict great things in her future.
Micah and Zoe have a step-brother named Jaydn who is just older than Zoe. We have really come to love this kid. There are always adjustments when families blend, but things generally work out well when there is patience and love to go around. My daughter and her husband have made sure of that. Jaydn is a vivacious boy, who like all 6th graders, is starting to get that grown up look about him. He's always trying new things and is eager to please. He has an easy manner and is constantly on the move. He's easy to talk with and he really craves adult conversation.
Our youngest daughter and her husband have another of our grandsons. Ben will be six years old in January. He is very special to us as well. He had an early and unexpected entry into the world. But he overcame that small setback and is now a very robust, energetic kindergartner. I know this is starting to sound redundant and like nothing more than grandparent pride, but he is a very smart young kid with lots of potential. Add that to a killer smile and lots of charm and you have a pretty great kid. Ben will have to start sharing his parents with yet another granddaughter due in January.
To say we are fortunate to have all these great kids in our lives is a monumental understatement. We loved being parents, but there is something so special about the grandparent role. It enables a person to have a very close relationship with a child, to teach (and learn), encourage, and support these young people in ways a parent can't. Parents have the most important job- but grandparents can be there for these kids in a way that can't be duplicated. Having them all here in town with us makes us particularly fortunate and appreciative.
Without playing favorites, let's get back to Micah. His ninth birthday this past week gave me a special reason to think about him, me, and the future for all the kids I've just introduced you to . It got me reflecting back to the year of my 9th birthday. I think this was the first year in my life where I actually began to see the world as a complicated and sometimes difficult place. Don't get me wrong- I had a fairly secure and safe upbringing. I was surrounded by an extended family who cared about me. But it was also the first year I can remember where I had thoughts about the world outside my safe upbringing.
In 1963 I completed the 3rd grade with a great teacher who really encouraged us to learn about ourselves and do things differently than the schooling I had received up till then. I was in a Catholic school, but had only been taught by the Sisters. In third grade I had a lay teacher (as they were called then). She was an older lady and I can still picture her. My guess is that she taught in a Catholic school because she probably didn't fit in to the public school mold. Nonetheless, I remember her as being quite different and I remember that year as my favorite one in the Catholic grade school.
Later in 1963, as a 4th grader, the country and I experienced the assassination of JFK. Nothing can shock your childhood world more than a national crisis that every single person in your life is reacting to with sorrow and confusion. Being only 9, I couldn't comprehend the meaning of these things but I knew a major and unprecedented event had just occurred. Then, the Sunday after JFK was killed, as my dad and I watched, Lee Harvey Oswald was murdered right in front of us on live TV. So this was the age I started seeing the world beyond my own home. I know that Micah is seeing that world too. Conversations with him leave no doubt he has reached the point of recognizing the issues and uncertainties of the world, as well as its great wonders and treasures. In lots of ways I kind of envy him the great discoveries he will make within himself and in the world he lives in. Every time I see him I can see his mind at work. What a time of growth. Jaydn and Zoe have already been there and continue to discover new ideas, great new people, and the problems the world faces.
As Micah is passing through this doorway now, I feel a special responsibility to him. I feel it for Jaydn, Zoe, Ben, and our "player to be named later" too. Perhaps, this is the reason I've taken to speaking out more in my personal life, and in this blog, about the things that concern me. It's not my future I'm concerned for- it is theirs! We are making huge decisions now that will determine what their life will be like only a few short years from now. And I don't like the tone of things. There is a selfishness, a smallness, and a pessimism that is invading our spirit these days. Too many of our people want to reverse the progress we've made and take huge steps backwards. I don't want that for my grand kids.
I'd like to see a future for them that is not threatened by global climate changes that will make clean water and food scarce, and foul the air with the residue of burned fossil fuels. I'd like to see a future for them that is not controlled by privileged few, while the masses scrape by. I'd like to see a world for them where our best values are the rule of the day- not beliefs that are born out of fear, hatred, and repression for convenience sake. I'd like to see a future for them that relies on the truth of science and reason- not superstitions rooted in ancient dogma. I've got wonderful grandchildren, as other grandparents do. I'd like to see the world they inherit be better than it is right now. Our grandson turned 9- I hope we will have made the right choices by the time he turns 18.
Thanks for looking in.
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