The High Price of Intolerance

I don’t subscribe to our local newspaper or even pay much attention to it. The “news” is always yesterday’s news, because the printed word just can’t keep pace with the cable news outlets or the digital media. But every now and then I may pick up a paper I find lying around. That happened last week at work and I turned to the editorial page to see a Letter to the Editor titled: Collins Not a Hero.  For those who aren’t familiar with the issue, the writer “Jim” (no last name needed here) was referring to NBA player Jason Collins of the Washington Wizards. Only the week before, Jason Collins became the first professional athlete from a major sport to “come out” as being gay.   

Jim had some pretty clever ways to say he doesn’t approve of Mr. Collins. Jim starts his letter by saying, “Ok, let me get this straight”. Here’s an observation: when someone starts a Letter to the Editor by saying, ”Let me get this straight”, you can bet the farm they don’t have it straight. Jim’s primary point is that we shouldn’t give Jason Collins any credit for courage for declaring that “..when he wants sexual intimacy, it is with other men”, as Jim put it. Jim goes on to cite what he defines as real heroics, like supporting an orphanage in Africa, or “deciding to continue his NBA career on one leg”, or bravely suffering “losing his family in an airplane accident”. In other words Jim, and many like him, cannot recognize that people who are different display courage when they stand before the world to declare for themselves and others that they are slightly different, but still want to be treated with normal human dignity. Those who are the first to do so take the greatest risks, and deserve some degree of credit for their actions. Those who are “first” to take such a step don’t just do it for themselves, they do it for those who may be inspired to follow the example.

The old adage used to be: If you can’t beat ‘em- join ‘em. Now we are so polarized that the new way of things is to say: If you can’t beat ‘em- marginalize ‘em- minimize ‘em- and make them insignificant. That’s what Jim was doing. But, for those who know the pain of discrimination first- hand, or have the humanity to empathize with those who do, Jim’s all too clever argument is just another way to say, “you are not welcome in my world”. That is the essence of intolerance, and discrimination. The result of that thinking is more than just bigotry and inequality. The result is tangible pain and loss of human life. So when Jim makes the argument that people like Jason Collins is no hero, he is fostering the continuation of this damaging discrimination. In fairness, Jim may not even know the consequences of his attitude. If Jim, and others who agree with him, don’t know the real life consequences-they should look into it before they continue to minimize and berate the people who step out to make a stand for justice.

Let’s just agree that we discriminate against the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgender) people of this country. In most of the country people who have a sexual orientation different from the mainstream heterosexual population cannot marry one another. They do not have the rights to inheritance, spousal insurance coverage, parenting through adoption, survivor’s benefits, next-of-kin rights, and a host of other privileges that attend to heterosexual married couples.  Aside from the marriage problem (in most States) LBGT people suffer any number of other types of formal and informal types of discrimination. Jim, it's more than just a sex thing.

One of the ways that change occurs is to gradually “normalize” behavior that was once thought to be abnormal. For example, in the middle of the 20th century this country went through a tremendous period of social change as we struggled to integrate African-Americans into the mainstream after our horrible civil war to end slavery in the previous century. It did not happen overnight, (and the struggle is not over yet) but it began to happen through thoughtful, purposeful planning that involved placing African Americans in normal situations for all to see. In sports, the story of Jackie Robinson breaking the “color barrier” in Baseball is legendary. The other major sports soon followed suit. The big breakthroughs came in the all-powerful medium of Television. The first cracks in the wall of normalcy came by placing African Americans in TV commercials. It showed African Americans using the same products as whites; washing their clothes, dusting their furniture, weeding their yards, and buying cars just like the mainstream whites. It was done on purpose, and it took courage (and some prodding) for the Madison Avenue types to do it. By the late sixties Diane Carroll was the first African American to have her own sit-com on TV. Uhura and Kirk shared the first interracial kiss on TV- and it didn’t take us long to “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” at the movies. Roundtree and Poitier became leading men instead of stereotyped characters. “Black” music became mainstream Rock and Roll. Change happened when the instruments of our culture lead us to accept what we would not accept before. Knowledge and exposure is a key element in educating us to give up our old biases.

It is that time again. Now the issue is justice, fairness, and legal equality for those with a different sexual orientation. The research is very convincing that LGBT folks are that way by nature. There is no evidence this is “just a choice” or a “lifestyle”. The only argument for discriminating against this portion of Americans is the religious argument which holds that homosexuality is a sin. That implies the religious notion of free will and it simply does not apply in this case. But for those who want to believe those tenants then by all means, live that way. The problem comes from the need to force others to live that way too. This is where the damage starts. Earlier on I mentioned tangible pain and the loss of human life. That was not just hyperbole.

No one really knows what portion of our population is LBGT. Some have estimated it to be about 10%. Recently the Gallop pollsters did a survey and they determined that 3.4% of Americans are LBGT. I think that figure is probably very low because it relied on self-reporting (in a world of discrimination), but even if we assume that’s correct, that means there are approximately 10,850,000 LBGT people in the country. Nearly eleven million is a pretty big number- and twice that number is probably closer to reality. The loss of life I mentioned is from the staggering rate of suicides in the LBGT community. I can hardly imagine the pain people feel when they know that their human urges and needs (and not just for sex- but for love, companionship and family) are seen as abnormal and their own society condones discrimination against them. Not only do LBGT people have the inevitable struggle to find their way in a disapproving world- they are more often the victims of violence because of their sexual orientation. The burden of that stigma must be immeasurable.

This issue is particularly hard for young people who struggle with sexuality anyway- no matter what the orientation. For all people ages 15-24, suicide is the 3^rd leading cause of death. Attempts by gay and lesbian youth account for 30% of all completed suicides. Studies show that LBGT teens are between 30 and 40 percent more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers. Young people unsure of their sexual orientation are more than three times as likely to commit suicide as their straight peers (Garafalo et al) In addition LBGT young people suffer far more mental health problems (primarily clinical depression, anxiety and conduct disorders) have far less success in school, and experience co-occurring disorders (mental health and substance abuse) at far higher rates than straight youth. They are subject to bullying, harassment, and assault at far greater rates than straight kids. These numbers represent real pain and real loss of human life.

 I disagree with Jim and his ilk. I think Collins is a hero. I think he’s important because he has made himself one more brick in the road to allowing LBGT people to experience normalcy. Normalcy leads to acceptance, and acceptance stops discrimination. It is the only way to stop the painful existence and inequality that so many suffer now. We tend to revere our sports heroes. So, it is fitting that Collins’ announcement can be seen as helping us accept LBGT people as they are. They are people we work with, people who want families and to raise children, people who strive for success, people who play sports; mechanics, accountants, teachers, grocery clerks, etc. etc. They are just people. The intolerance that our laws and our prejudices promote has a high price. The price is the loss of promising young people who find it preferable to end their lives rather than live in a world that cannot tolerate who they are. That is far too high a price to pay for bigotry and intolerance.

Thanks for looking in.

P.S. Just this week The Boy Scouts of America changed its policy to allow openly gay boys into the BSA- they still do not allow openly gay Scout Masters. News Flash, there have been gay boys and gay Scout Masters in the BSA forever. But hey, it’s a good move!