Normally when I set about to write one of these essays I have given the whole thing some thought about how I will end it. Now, as sit to write this one I have no idea how it will end. I'm hoping that in writing it I will arrive at an ending, or some conclusion that relieves some of the pain of this personal dilemma I struggle with. I know I'm not the only one to have this particular struggle; it is a struggle that has been the subject of many conversations and emotions over the last two years.
What a luxury it is for our species to be able to wrestle with moral and ethical questions rather than spend all of our time in search of the next meal or the next drink of clean water. But our evolutionary path has brought us to the place where our great intellectual power has created technologies and societies that alleviate, for the most part, the struggles shared by most other species on the planet to merely survive from day to day. The other edge of that double-edge sword of intellect is both a great advantage and a curse. We now have the time and capacity to deal with the finer points of our existence. When I was a university student seeking my degree in Sociology I learned about a state that individuals and societies/cultures experience called Anomie. Anomie is defined as: a lack of usual social or ethical standards in an individual or group. Another way to describe the term is, "normlessness". The term was popularized by the French sociologist Emile Durkheim during his studies on suicide.
My painful dilemma has to do with our current presidential leadership on a smaller level, and the state of our society and culture on the larger level. What makes it so personal, and thus so painful is my utter lack of the "usual social and ethical standards". I have entered a state of normlessness in relation to how I should relate to people I know. These aren't just acquaintances- I'm talking about some of my friends and some members of my family, along with some people I worked with closely. It actually bothers me, and gnaws at me how some folks in my sphere could believe, and approve of certain things I find so completely repulsive. This leaves me struggling to think through this intellectual conflict. Thus far, I'm still stuck in an uncomfortable place, with the only the solace being that I know I have a lot of company in this dilemma.
Let me set the stage for this dilemma. As I have mentioned before my upbringing was a fairly common one. I came from a close knit family, second generation immigrants on my mother's side, with very traditional values. Those values included a sense of patriotism and a strong sense of service to others. I came adopt values through my life that reflected respect and inclusion for races, religions, sexual identities, lifestyles, and cultures other than my own. I also came to expect justice and speak up for it when needed, and to respect the rights of others for their sake, but also because I believed protecting the rights of others helped secure those same rights for me. I expected (and experienced) leaders who had those same values, even when I didn't agree with some of them on policy or substance. We expected our leaders to be good examples and promoters of those values, and for the most part, during my life they have been. I believe that during the period of my adult life there have been efforts to reduce racism, elevate the role of women to one of parity and fairness, to become more inclusive as a society to people of different cultures, to rely on the use of science and technology to guide human advancements, and the list goes on. Many of these ideals remain a work in progress with much more to be done- but we could agree on the ideals to strive for.
Over the last two years those ideals have been turned up-side-down by a president who has never lived his life with the same values and ideals most of us have lived by. The common wisdom is: the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. This president's past behavior is a constant stream of unearned privilege, racist behavior in his business dealing (housing), cheating, fraud, and swindling in his other business dealings, failed businesses (multiple bankruptcies for which he has shown no remorse or empathy for businesses or individuals who didn't get paid), multiple affairs and marital infidelities, sexual harassment (fourteen current complaints and numerous past complaints), hush money payments to quiet sexual scandals, secret financial dealings with foreign governments, nepotism, and self-aggrandizement backed up by constant demonstrable lies. So then, it is no surprise that his same patterns of behavior would follow him to the White House. Since being there he has been sued for violating the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution by profiting from his office, appointed his children to government posts, derides the press as "enemies of the people" (though the press is constitutionally protected), sided with white supremacists, antagonized all of our NATO allies, supported the Russian president (who actively is seeking to disrupt or destroy our government) against all of his own national security agencies, fired an FBI head for daring to do his job, ordered the separation of over 2500 children from their parents at our borders, and continues to lie about nearly everything he does while telling his adoring fans to ignore their own eyes and ears and just believe him. He is the worst demagogue to ever hold the office.
None of the above was a surprise- it's just a continuation of past behavior. The surprise and the cause of my dilemma is the number of people who are willing to ignore all of the corruption, the lack of decency, the failure to acknowledge the poor and disadvantaged, the abject arrogance combined with intellectual laziness, the daily inconsistencies and lies to cover up other lies, the bowing to foreign dictators, and the list goes on. What is it in some of my fellow citizens and some people close to me that makes them accept this? As I said above Trump is the minor part of this personal dilemma. It is the people who blindly follow him and have who decided to believe him and not their own senses that creates the bigger problem for me. I just don't know how to relate to them, nor do I know if I even should try.
Humanity has faced these kinds of issues in our past. The most recent and devastating example came in the first half of the 20th century. During this period of time the forces of nationalism and strong-man dictatorships flourished all over the world. Franco, Mussolini, Hitler, Tojo, Stalin, Mao, and a host of other minor dictators on every continent all came into prominence during this period- and they were all enemies to our democratic ideals and principles. This period marks the clearest time of global demarcation between good and evil in man's history. In most of the places where these men came to power they did so legally and with the consent of many or most of their countrymen. Fortunately the forces of good prevailed for the most part- but only after the worst war in human history (WWII) with 50 million dead (a high percentage via genocide), and near global involvement. Mankind spent the next half of the century trying to repair the damage.
I do not believe what we are seeing in our national leadership is much different than the forces that led to fascism and totalitarianism in the twentieth century. In fact, the issues and tactics used are so similar that it should be chilling to all of us. The tactics include, "the big lie", rabid nationalism, sowing hatred and division, blaming minorities, deriding the press, and ignoring the rule of law. So, why aren't these things frightening to that segment of America (35-40%) who form Trump's "base"? The obvious answer is that those folks agree with the ideas that Trump promotes. At bottom, there are far too many people in this country who have racist beliefs, who are quick to blame "the other" for their lot in life, who remain ignorant (by choice) out of laziness and prefer to follow a demagogue rather than think for themselves, and who vote against their own best interests because they don't understands the complexities of this society and are easily bamboozled. Some say Trump is a genius for tapping into this strain of people. I give him no credit! The easiest thing in the world to do is lie, cheat, and appeal to our worst instincts. The hard work is dealing in truth and reality. The hard work for a president is govern for all (a serious failing for this president) and do it based our on core values of justice, fairness, and the common good.
The people I have such a dilemma with are not just seeing things from a different "point of view", where good people can disagree. They are actively embracing his racism- they are willing to ignore, compartmentalize, or rationalize his personal and public corruption. They are willing to put aside their religious moral standards, or personal ethics. A question I ask myself and others is, how much of that should I tolerate before I am complicit in allowing these abhorrent behaviors and values to grow in my country or my community?
Politics is the petri dish of hypocrisy. I wonder how his "base" would have reacted to President Obama if Obama had said the exact same thing to Putin that Trump did in Helsinki; or how they would react if Obama would have behaved the shameless way Trump behaves at his rallies; or what they would say if Obama was accused of cheating to win an election; or if it was clear Obama paid off paid-off a porn star to keep quiet about an affair two months before an election; or, or, or- the list goes on? We all know the honest answer to that. Trump is not the stuff American presidents are made of, but large segments of our communities are willing to accept it now. I know this - I would not associate with a person like him in my personal life and I'm quite sure many of his "base" wouldn't either. Knowing what he know for sure of his behavior, would you hire him at your place of employment; would you have him as a business partner; would accept his antics in your church; would you welcome his engagement to marry your daughter??? No- but he's OK to be our president?And, we cannot fall into the trap of "equivalency". It is the trap that holds his way of doing things is just different. His presidency is not just another way of governing- different but equal to other ways of governing. Trump leads through greed, racism, assaults on the truth, denigrating others, and self-serving narcissism. These traits aren't just different- they are ethically wrong and unacceptable for a leader in a democracy.
So after thinking through my dilemma, here is my conclusion. My convictions on this question are strong- I will not accept the values Trump holds and practises in his leadership of this country. And as for those who embrace his values and actions (that our fathers and mothers fought against on foreign soil and on the streets of this country) I won't accept them from you either. I could isolate myself with only those who agree with me, but I won't do that. Instead I will speak up against those who embrace the corrupt values Trump promotes- face-to-face with people I know, or publicly when I have the chance. Saying or doing nothing in the face of evil is the hard lesson from the last century when tyrants and demagogues tried to rule the planet- and almost did. It is trending again, and we can't let that happen. I wish the rest of you facing this same dilemma good luck in your search for an answer. However you choose to confront this dilemma, remember you can make a difference.
Thanks for looking in.
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