It Starts With Your Eyes

Well, it doesn't always start with your eyes- but it did for me. I'm talking about that creeping realization that you are aging. In my own case, I remember it well. About fifteen years ago when I was in my early-forties I began to notice that the letters on the page were not as clear and crisp as they used to be. There was an ever-so-slight feeling of irritation in my eyes. "Strain", I thought. This will pass. After all, I've had perfect vision up to now. Both my parents wore glasses from the time they young adults, but I thought all that stuff had passed right over me, so this couldn't be about having my vision go south on me. But as the months passed I couldn't deny it any longer. I found myself attempting to read while adjusting my upper body back and forth trying to find the focus zone. Then I became the old cliche'. I was actually extending my arms until they just weren't long enough anymore.

I complained about it to a friend. He is about eight years older than me and he got quite a good laugh at my situation. Then he painstakingly went through his own eye history. (Jesus- will this ever end?) He told me about how "as you age" your eyeball changes shape and you need to correct for good vision. So like very other dorky 40-something, I'm at the drug store buying those readers. First 1.0; then 1.5s; and finally after the 2.25s won't work anymore you're at the eye doctor and you're wearing full-out prescription "corrective lenses". This is the time you know you're not a kid anymore. You can't do everything you used to do- like see stuff! As I stand here today I'm now a full-fledged bifocal wearing man. See how it goes?

All of these experiences help prepare you for the "next phase" of life. Soon, wearing glasses is a small issue. You might experience a minor medical scare of some kind, or find yourself checking in for out-patient surgery. Then you have "a procedure"; possibly major surgery (hell, there could even be "complications"). And so it goes.

Last week our family had one of those events that goes beyond the normal grumbling about getting older. My cousin had a major heart attack. She had the kind that couldn't be fixed without "crack the chest", full open-heart surgery. She nearly lost her life and remained in a highly critical state for several days. Thankfully, she is now beginning to recover; but her survival was not assured when the crisis hit. This was not a normal heart attack- if there actually is such a thing. This was a helicopter ride to a larger town- emergency surgery- and the highest level of critical care.

My cousin is part of the generation I belong to. We are the baby boomers, born after World War II and up to about 1960. All of my first cousins are in this group. So, what happened last week is a poignant reminder that as we age the stakes are getting higher. It is clear now that members of my generation can be lost . I think we've tried to be careful to take care of ourselves as best we can. I think we've all given up our bad habits, if we had them, and turned to healthier ways. But even for those like my cousin, who did all the right things, our end can come suddenly and without warning. This is just life. It is unpredictable. We are, after all, living organisms that will eventually fail and pass on from life- as all living things do.

I'm so happy to be writing this while my cousin continues to recover- instead of writing this while in mourning. But this event has given me more cause to reflect on the way forward for those of us facing the challenges that come with aging. I suppose there are basically two ways to react. I have known those who recoil and devolve into a life of worry and depression. They believe that getting older is nothing more than mounting physical and emotional hardships to be endured. They live their lives around trips to the doctor's office and dwelling on lost youth. Then are those who believe that to be  alive is to be active and involved and look forward to the future. I made the choice to look forward. Believe it or not, I made that choice about the time I started wearing "corrective lenses".  It was then I knew there were some things I couldn't change- so I had better make the best of it- instead of living in dread of approaching decline.

In lots of ways, this choice informs my political and social beliefs too, and the way I want to spend my time. I want to be progressive. I want to be involved. I want to think and comment, and take actions when I have the chance to do so. I want to put my faith in the young people who will move us forward- not the stance that says, 'look backward, conserve the past". Youthful passion for change and improvement is exhilarating. Besides, I don't believe the good old days were all that good for a lot people. So I decided to engage in activities that challenge my talents (if I have any) and take up new endeavors. Writing these articles is part of that effort. I want to keep my mind and my body as active as I can. And if my end comes sooner rather than later, then be assured I enjoyed the time I had- that I found it so interesting and so full of wonder.



Thanks for looking in.