It's been a couple of weeks since I last visited with Molly. You'll remember that she has allowed me to tell you about her journey through the next year as she battles with breast cancer. The story of her illness is unusual, but not unheard of. The unusual part is that she is just 34 years old. When I wrote Part 1, the family had just felt the pangs of another unfortunate event that coincided with the news and planning that had to be done for Molly's health; her husband Jeremy lost his job. So, the beginning of this story was one that could have been written in national headlines decrying the kinds of crisis people face when catastrophic illness intersects with a financial crisis.
It struck me, visiting with her, that this chapter isn't about the unbelievable coincidence of bad luck, played out against the backdrop of current events in our politics and our culture. This is just about Molly. It took me a couple of weeks to write this because I prefer to say something in these articles that expresses a different angle or point of view. But, after a couple of weeks thinking about finding an angle from which to tell this part of her story, I had to conclude there isn't one. It really is just about Molly.
We sat in her living room and talked about her life the last six weeks, since she began doing chemo therapy. She has always been one who could talk on and on, no matter what the topic. And this topic was no different. You have to know that Molly has always cut hair for a living- so talking became a natural outgrowth of her chosen profession. I was happy to see that her weekly intake of toxic poison hadn't dampened her spirit or driven her into a cave of self-pity. As always, our conversation was lively and very interesting to me. I had been around some older folks who had cancer- my mom being one- but I had never spoken to anyone on a personal, on-going level as they ran the gauntlet of chemo therapy. The people I knew didn't go through chemo.
Molly is about eight weeks into the first phase of treatment that will last 18 weeks in total. The regimen requires a week of very heavy treatments, followed by two weeks of treatment with lighter doses of the cancer drugs. The second phase will start right after she finishes the first, and that phase will last about 34 weeks. That's whole year of this stuff. When that part is done, she will have a mastectomy and begin the reconstructive surgeries. It seems from talking with her, that this phase is the most difficult to tolerate. I'm sure anyone who has gone through this can relate well to the effects of this brutal treatment. But, for me it was a revelation to see my young friend face this trial with such poise and resolve.
She described the effects this was having on her, physically and emotionally. There are the usual things one might expect. About two weeks into her treatment Molly lost her hair. She knew that was coming and was prepared. She even had the foresight to get a little cosmetic tattooing done ahead of time. Smart girl. There is nausea. That too was expected and she is learning how to deal with it. She went on to describe the other effects we don't hear about so often. She talked about how in the very beginning she was nearly incapacitated from severe bone and joint pain. At first she required help just to get around in the house. Fortunately that ugly side-effect subsided and now she is seeing the smaller issues come up. They aren't nearly as discouraging and painful as the first symptoms- but a "pain in the ass" as she put it. The chemo has dried her skin- weakened and cracked her nails clear through, and caused some sores to appear in her bare scalp. Hearing her describe these things in such matter-of-fact language confirmed to me that she has, and will continue, to cope with all this- and beat it in the end. She humbles me.
She admitted to some difficult moments. She talked about "hitting the wall" a few weeks ago. It was a time when the pain and round-the-clock discomfort made her believe she had to stop. She felt she just couldn't go back to sit in that chair whole days while these drugs were pumped in to her. She worked through her pain and discouragement and she is keeping up her fight. Molly talked about needing to stay in bed a lot because of the fatigue- but at the same time having her nighttime sleep disturbed. Lastly she talked about how her family is managing this difficult time.
Molly's mom is just getting past her own bout with breast cancer. Her mom cries often over her sense of guilt- thinking somehow this is her fault. It isn't rational to "feel" guilty about cancer- but a mother's deepest emotions about her children aren't about rational thoughts. In lots of ways Molly relies on her mother's experience to help her navigate through her own course. Molly's six year old daughter doesn't understand all of this entirely, but she knows her mom is sick. She spends a lot of extra time nestled against her mom, trying to understand. Molly provides her daughter with all the explanations, reassurance, and security she can give.
As for Jeremy- he has been a steady loving support to Molly. In addition, he found a great new job only weeks after he lost his last job. (We still think his last employer sacked him because of the Molly's cancer insurance payments). However, his new employment will provide the financial security the family needs. His new job provides health insurance benefits- and because of the Affordable Health Care Act Molly cannot be denied coverage. This development will go a long way towards keeping her spirits strong throughout this ordeal.
Friends continue to provide support and encouragement- but not with the same urgency and frequency as before. Molly remains grateful for any word of encouragement and knows full well who her friends are.
Part 2 of this story is the story of the long haul. This is about the many weeks of monotonous and uncomfortable hours to be endured in the course of treatment. From now on it will lack the epic quality of one defiant stand against this disease. It will be about the trudging, every day stands against the menace of cancer- the ones that demand even more courage. It also demands our respect and affection. To be continued................
Thanks for looking in.
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